Should we get off the streets?

Yep. I am so not in the, lets just accept the election results group. "You people marching in the streets and blocking traffic....." Really. Blocking traffic?

I don't really know what you mean by "accepting the results." You may accept it.

I don't accept what a lot of people feel as part of the results. As a victim of sexual assault. I feel victimized. How should I accept that? As a woman I am offended that such a blatant bully and sexist is about to be in charge of my country. As a human being I hurt for the children who feel afraid in their homes and schools that DT is coming for them. These are people with brown skin, and parents of gay and transgender parents.

We are not making this stuff up. I was at a dinner last night with a dozen women, and most of the women taking a turn to tell of the pain, tears, and agony they have personally seen and experiences due to the rise of blatant racism and sexism.

I want to stand with the people who are afraid in their homes. Crying, feeling vulnerable. People wailing in the streets, because this vote told them they were not safe in this country. We aren't even talking illegal immigrants here. I want to stand in the streets and tell the people who are hurting that they aren't alone. We are going to fight to keep them from being railroaded. This isn't about Democrat and Republican. It is about simple basic humanity.

Simple basic humanity.

I mean that isn't even mentioning the fact he is an unstable, insecure, man that is more interested in resolving pissing matches than helping people. What did Ted Cruz say about him? A "pathological liar," "utterly amoral," "a narcissist" and "a serial philanderer".  But apparently none of that matters. He doesn't care about people in Flint Michigan. He just wanted to win. He is going to empower the big banks and insiders in Washington. He is going to keep making money for himself and screwing the little guy, but I am digressing from my point.

I am against violence, period.

People complaining about violence against Trump supporters. I totally agree with you. It is wrong. But I will tell you, that is one picture, one action. It is wrong. In Portland, 20 people were violent, while thousands were in the streets. The people in the streets were actively trying to stop the Anarchists who were being violent. They helped the police.

This is a peaceful movement, with humans losing it in the midst. Those people are the periphery, the fringe, not leading the march. They are wrong, and we are calling them on it.

If you have a problem with people marching in the streets, please think of it another way. Don't think of it as whining, don't think of it as poor sportsmanship. This is not a game. This is our country. Those of us who are on the streets want to stand with our brothers and sisters who are real targets of hate and violence; People of different colored skin who have had increased bullying and hate attacks. We want to stand with the police, and our veterans. We are against violence. We are against bullying.

We are standing on the side of love, standing on the side of peace, standing on the side of humanity, standing on the side of decency, standing on the side of victims of sexual violence. We are standing to tell them they aren't alone. We are with them. We will not stand by and let the KKK have their day in the sun. They are celebrating, but we want to let them know we aren't going to lay down and let them intimidate people. We are not going to lay down. We aren't going to get over it.

Our voices were heard. We got the majority vote. We did not win. We will be sure our voices are still heard. We want peace and justice. We are coming. We will be using the roads. We will use the ballot boxes. We will use the judiciary.

You are all welcome to join us to stand on the side of love.

The Evils of Pokeman Go.

As a PT I am always trying to find ways to motivate people to move more. I find myself crusading against video games, cell phones in the hands of kids, and the evils of social media time wasters. In the new Pokemon Go mobile application, we have a combination of all the above. Surprisingly,  I am in the group of people that are really tickled with the new Pokeman Go phenomena. I really didn’t expect it.

 It is an amazing tool for movement. I read a blog post the other day about an obese hermit that walked 10 miles a day his first day of Pokeman Go. Granted, I would have never advised anyone to start their program at 10 miles the first day.  I’m sure he was very sore the next day.  I hope he doesn’t give up. The hardest part is starting, and he did that. I work very hard to motivate people to move more, and I have never come close to motivating someone into a 10 mile walk. I am Gob smacked.

Other than athletes getting injured, the largest group of patients I have are people that are too sedentary and have started to have pain with basic functional activities. They are watching too much TV, playing too many video games, spending too much time texting people on their phones, or working too many hours. Pokemon Go seems to be a real antidote to this problem. For the people fussing about having more important things to do, I would argue though that we need to weigh the benefits. I am not just talking about physical health, but also emotional and societal health.

It is even helping me to drag my family outside more. Recently, they have been hunting Pokeman while I hunt and pick berries. I spend a lot of my time outside the clinic harvesting and processing plants. In the last 2 weeks I have seen so many more people outside and moving with me.

Last year at this time when we went to the central square in down town it was mostly over run with homeless kids and drug deals. It was pretty “unsavory,” and not a place you would want to hang out with your kids. This weekend there were easily a hundred people down there at a time. My daughter walked up to 5 different strangers, with me by her side, and had great Pokémon conversations with all of them. There were people organizing food drives, and trash cleanups. Really. That is an amazing down town turn around. The city didn’t make that happen, Pokemon did.  Downtown Anchorage City Park on Pokemon Go, versus drugs. 

Last week I saw a crowd of people at a park down from my house, grouping together to take a picture in front of the Cheney Lake Park sign. They looked like they had nothing in coming. Different ages, races, styles of dress. I'm not even sure where they all might have met in another setting. There was a tall older paunchy Caucasian guy, looks pale like he works in an office, a young Asian kid, a few other nationalities, clothes styles, and fitness levels. They were doing group hugs and selfies together. I saw another group of adults in a car across the street at a Pokestop gathering Pokeballs, with a similar "unmatched" aesthetic; business, nerdy, grungy. It really warmed my heart to see their joy and their camaraderie.

To be honest. I think it is something that the country and the world really need right now. Strangers that have nothing in common but a new hobby they has them making new friends, walking miles a day, breathing fresh air, trying to improve their communities,  and seeing the world around them.

Walls have become very popular of late. It worries me. I worry that the tribal mindset of “us and them” is the greatest instigator of social unrest we have. The more people we meet, and different circles we overlap into, the better our empathy for one another. The more people socialize, they better they feel. I am seeing it in the smiles.

The more we talk and socialize with each other, the better we feel about society. Maybe it will help people to stop seeing each other as the enemy. Maybe people will be able to talk  more openly. Maybe this will encourage true discourse. This has me a little excited. A little glimmer of unexpected goodness from a “stupid video game.” A possible antidote, on a small level, for our current state of agitation and fear. From what I am seeing and reading, small barriers are being broken down. Social groups are becoming porous. Pokémon probably won’t tear down the biggest boundaries between us. But this happy porousness is something we need right now.

What if I have less patients because people are more fit because they are walking 10 miles a week? What if people have better mental health because they aren’t playing so many hours of first person shooter video games? What if Pokémon Go brings Jews and Palestinians together in the West Bank? A girl can dream.

Make fun if want. Roll your eyes, but I have definitely found some rose colored glasses to see this game through. I like the view.  

Drowsy trying to get away.

Feeling our Pulse.

So here we are again. A country confused in the the aftermath of another mass execution of innocent citizens. Another situation, where people armed with automatic weapons, decide to make a statement with murder. It keeps happening. My daughter is 9 years old, and I won’t be able to protect her from this sort of violence for much longer.  I don’t know how I will explain it, or why we let it keep happening. As a culture, it appears we have decided there is nothing that we can do to stop it, except to have more weapons.

I am sad. I am angry, and I am sad again.

For me, the pain is more intense this time. The Pulse massacre has hit me deeper.  It is harder for me to turn off the reality of the event in my mind. I am having a hard time turning my mind to my work and family. It is coloring my daily interactions.

Last night I had a girls’ night out with my daughter. The man selling me my shoes, pretty gay and fabulous. The apparent manager at the art gallery we stopped in, pretty gay. So are they targets? When we were set down to our table at dinner, I was going through exit and protection strategies in my head. Is my crowded restaurant a target?  Where would the most defensible position be? Crap, I don’t have a weapon, how could I defend myself. The same thing happened in the bathroom. There is only one entrance/exit to the bathroom. Crap. We did not stay long.

Part of it, I am sure, is that the pain and trauma is cumulative. Something that should never happen, keeps happening. I wonder if the gun advocates think that we are supposed to get used to it? I don’t want my children to have to get used to it. I don’t want my daughter to have to live like this.

Another part of my difficulty with “moving on” this time, is I have more empathy for the young lives that were lost in this atrocity. I feel that I could have been there. I realize the Pulse night club is more than four thousand miles away from us here in Alaska. And to be honest, I actively avoid all conferences and events there, and prefer to go anywhere that is closer. The thing is, if I were in Orlando, during Pride week; The Pulse is where I would want to be.

No, I am not a member of the LGBTQ community, but I am an ally. I frequent gay establishments and events. Granted it’s only about once or twice a year that I go to a club now that I’m in my 40’s, but it is where I am comfortable and have fun.

I had always felt uncomfortable in “straight establishments” where there is the constant worry about the toxic mix of “dominance testosterone” and alcohol. In a straight bar, if you accidentally bump into someone, you can get a glare, a push, a punch. In a straight bar, when a girl is offered a drink or a dance, there are risks and repercussions to each option of response.  It is tiring and I don’t enjoy myself.

I discovered gay bars about 15 years ago, and found a very different experience. Everyone seems more relaxed. I have never been hassled or given an attitude because I am straight, and neither has my husband. We have been warmly welcomed.

Walking into a gay club is like walking into a smile. When I bump into someone, I get a compliment on my shoes.  If I do happen to get a compliment on my body, it isn’t with a leer. I take it as a compliment, and not a pick up line. I can dance with girlfriends. I can dance with guy friends.  Yes, I get “hit on” by girls. Yes my husband gets hit on by guys. And you know what? Its ok.  We smile, we are flattered, and we politely decline, and maybe chat for a while. No big deal. It’s like being invited to a party, “I’m sorry. I can’t make it, but thanks for the invitation.” We still might chat if the music is not too loud.

I think one of the reasons that gay clubs are so welcoming is that they are sort of like a VFW. People have seen a lot of crap, and don't want to deal with any more, unless their hand is forced. All the regulars; the Queers, Dykes, Gays, Transvestites, Lesbians, and “Yet to be decided’s” are all veterans of a domestic war. They’ve had to survive 21 years in a society that doesn’t accept them, where they physically don’t feel safe, to be able to get in the door. It’s their sanctuary, refuge, and community center. It's a safe place to commiserate, revel in life, and throw pretty great parties.

People that frequent these refuges, have come to refer to each other as family. I have heard the word morph from meaning someone who is gay, to slowly umbrella-ing people under the LGBTQ banner. A person who is family, is someone who has traveled their path of struggle. I don't know how many times I have heard the term "they're family," settle everyone's nerves. 

So I want it to be clear to the Heterosexual community, that the attack on the Pulse night club was attack on a sanctuary. This was not 50 random strangers in an airport or other club. It was Latin night. The people celebrating were a doubly marginalized group of Family. Can you imagine the overwhelming sadness you would feel if someone murdered 50 people at your family re-union, or at a veterans memorial? I think that is something that most of us couldn’t process. On top of that grief, our gay friends are feeling the targets expand on their backs.

So if you have notices some of your LGBTQ friends not being a little uptight, you should realize they are under a lot of pressure. It’s still widely socially ok to tell “gay” jokes, and insult a person for being “gay”. Politicians are aggressively working to pass laws making it legal to discriminate against them  and segregateus into "us and them-the unsafe". They are under attack.

I am not LGBTQ. I am human being, and an ally. I still have a pulse, but I do not feel well.
We don’t know when and where hate will explode again. The flames are being fueled by our politicians. I have a need to act in some way. I want to do something to try and make the world a safer place for all of us.

The national chapter or my church has a campaign called Standing on the Side of Love. It is the spirit of what I am trying to do with my time and energy to manage my anxiety. I am working in my church to try and make sure our response to this atrocity is significant and sustained. I plan to be out and seen at my local Pride Parade this weekend. With my writing, my attempts at advocacy, and with my feet; I am working to stand on the side of love as publicly and visibly as I can. 

I still have a pulse.
So do you.
Where do you stand?